


something in me needs the words

by pictureofsoph1sticatedgrace



Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergent, F/M, Fluff, Suck it canon!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 02:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18356843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pictureofsoph1sticatedgrace/pseuds/pictureofsoph1sticatedgrace
Summary: After their near kiss at the theatre, Rebecca decides to pay a visit to Nathaniel. Post 4x14 canon divergence.





	something in me needs the words

**Author's Note:**

  * For [heartbash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartbash/gifts).



“This is really becoming a habit.”

“I know. It’s late - I should’ve called or texted but I’m doing that thing I sometimes do where I don’t quite _fully_ think things through before I do them. It’s kind of my signature thing. I - just - can we talk?”

Nathaniel steps to the side and wordlessly waves Rebecca in. As she steps over the threshold, the memories threaten to overwhelm her - coming back from Buffalo to flying squirrel her way into his strong arms and press her lips to his, spending the following nights tangled in his sheets, sated and blissful and happy. Worse, the last time she was here - drunk, miserable, and desperate for any little love kernel of attention. She almost loses the nerve she spent twenty minutes building up sitting in her car in the parking lot of his apartment, but she steels herself and takes a tentative seat on his couch.

Nathaniel moves to the kitchen, fully prepared to pour them each a glass of wine. It’s not every night you totally derail a revue of beloved classical musical theatre songs, after all. But Rebecca beats him to the punch.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?”

“For the other night. When I showed up drunk and sad and smelling like a distillery paired with a taco truck.”

Nathaniel grimaces, abandoning the wine glasses and joining Rebecca on the couch. “It’s ok, Rebecca. You were having a bad night,” he says.

“No, it’s not ok,” Rebecca says, taking his hands in hers. “What I did to you was terrible. You’d told me that you were letting me go and moving on, and then not even a week later, I show up on your doorstep and try to coerce you into having sex with me? No. It’s inexcusable. And I’m truly, truly sorry.”

“I appreciate the apology. I’m just glad you’re doing better now,” Nathaniel says, lightly tracing circles on the inside of her wrist with his thumb. “You are feeling better, right?”

“Yeah,” she says, letting out a nervous breath she didn’t even know that she was holding. “Yeah. I am. I’m back to therapy, and I started a new medication. Things just feel more… stable. Secure.”

“Rebecca, that’s great. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks. I just… I really am sorry,” she says.

“Hey, we both know I’ve done some… less than great things lately,” Nathaniel says. “I never should have done what I did with your diary. With Tucker. It was a complete invasion of your privacy. I was 100% out of line, and you were right to call me out. I was kind of a dick.”

Rebecca laughs and nods silently beside him. “Yeah, you kinda were.” She thinks back to all the times _she_ overstepped with _him_ \- showing up on his doorstep in that black trench coat unannounced and involving him in her Josh-induced downward spiral, her misguided attempt to prove Nathaniel had a little sister - and she knows she can forgive him. She’d be a hypocrite not to. “But I think I can forgive you.”

Rebecca looks at him with a shy smile. He takes her hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. 

“We’ve both really done some fucked up stuff, haven’t we?” she says.

“Yeah. We have,” he breathes on a sigh.

“But we’re both trying to be better. I’m finally taking ownership of my own life. You’re volunteering at the jail and doing community theatre?! Who are you and what have you done with the Nathaniel Plimpton III I met two years ago?” Rebecca says, raising an eyebrow.

“I know, I can’t quite believe it myself. Don’t tell anyone else or I’ll have to kill you,” Nathaniel quips.

“Oh, don’t play that game. I’ve heard from several people that you’re _nice_ now,” she says, a sly smile crossing her face.

“Fine, maybe I shouldn’t have casually dropped that into conversation _quite_ so much,” he says with a shrug.

“So… truce?” She extends a hand to him and immediately regrets it, hit with an onslaught of memories of what happened the _last_ time they tried to seal a deal with a handshake.

He takes her hand anyhow. “Truce,” he says.

An awkward silence falls over the pair. Rebecca shifts, tucking her legs underneath her. Her knee brushes his, and neither of them can ignore the electricity that sparks between them at the simplest touch. He clears his throat. She’s wringing her hands together before she breaks the silence.

“Hey Nathaniel?”

“Rebecca?”

“I meant what I said to you at the theatre. What you did truly meant the world to me,” she says. “And I’m sorry you got fired.”

“It was well worth it to see the look on your face. I’d get fired a million times over for you, Rebecca - that’s the honest truth,” he says. “You’re worth it.”

Rebecca knows in that moment that she made the right decision in coming here tonight. She can see the open honesty in his eyes, and she can feel her heart pounding beneath her ribcage. The feeling in her chest is foreign - it’s not glitter, but it’s somehow even better. She feels like she just stepped into the sunshine on a spring afternoon - safe and calm and feeling a radiant, glowing warmth. She takes a deep breath, and gets to what she’s really been wanting to say since their near-kiss almost four hours ago.

“Nathaniel, you’ve always cared for me. I’ve known that ever since you showed up at my door with those roses. You loved me, even at my worst. And yeah, sometimes that love was seriously misguided, but you also support me in a way that no one else has,” Rebecca says. “You encourage my dreams. You truly believe in me - whether it’s theatre or my unprofitable pretzel stand or being the senior partner at a law firm - you’ve always believed in me. In us. And I would be an idiot to walk away from that.”

Nathaniel is stunned silent, but Rebecca plows on.

“I want to give this one more shot. And I know, we’ve had like, a million shots by now, but I want us to figure this out for real. No lying, no cheating, just two slightly fucked up people who care for each other actually trying to do this dating thing. So…?”

Nathaniel finally finds his voice. “I think… I think I’d like that a lot.”

Rebecca smiles so bright it could light up the room, and she throws herself at Nathaniel, wrapping her arms around him.

Nathaniel is used to her proclivity for throwing herself at him by now, so he gladly accepts her hug with outstretched arms. He tucks his head into her neck, nosing at her curls and breathing in the scent of her shampoo, and relishes being able to hold her so close again. He can feel her heart beating against his chest, reminding him that she’s here and she’s real and alive and _here_ , and he again thanks whatever deity brought this incredible woman back to him. He knows he doesn’t deserve her, but he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure he doesn’t lose her again.

Eventually, Rebecca pulls back to look him in the eyes. “I want to take this super slow, if that’s ok with you,” she says.

“Of course. How about we start with a real date that involves absolutely no office supplies of any kind?” he suggests.

Rebecca laughs. “That sounds perfect.”

“Tomorrow at 6? I’ll pick you up at your place?” Nathaniel suggests.

“I don’t know, I’ll have to see if I can pencil you in to my very busy schedule of forcing Heather to watch reruns of _My Strange Addiction_ and _Sex Sent Me to the ER_ with me, but I think I’ll be able to make it work,” Rebecca says as she stands up, tossing her hair back over her shoulder with a laugh.

“Great. It’s a date,” Nathaniel says, standing up to walk her to the door.

“I’ll see you then,” Rebecca says softly, a glint in her eye.

The door closes softly behind her and Nathaniel smiles to himself, replaying everything that just happened in his mind… until a moment later when the door flies open again. Before he has a second to process what’s happening, Rebecca’s dragging him down to her and kissing him like her life depends on it. His brain finally reboots and he’s kissing her back, one hand threading into her hair and the other splayed across her back, pulling her body flush to his and _god_ , this is everything he’s missed for the past few months.

When they finally break for air, foreheads resting against one another, Rebecca smiles.

“That’s to make up for earlier tonight.”

He tucks a stray curl behind her ear and grins. “It was worth the wait.”

She rises onto her toes to give him one more quick kiss before backing towards the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow at 6. Don’t be late,” she says with an impish grin.

“When am I ever late? Plimptons are always punctual. Being late is _your_ thing.”

She giggles as she closes the door for a second time, and Nathaniel thinks he’d do just about anything to keep her laughing. Smiling. Kissing him the way she just did. Thankfully, he’s been given a chance to do just that.

Tomorrow can’t come soon enough.

**Author's Note:**

> phew, my first fic. I hope it's not completely terrible, especially because it's a slightly early birthday gift for @heartbash, who's been pushing me to write fic since we started talking over a year ago. congration, u done it! happy birthday lovely!
> 
> and of course, I have to shout out my girl @justwantedtodance. thank you both for pushing me to try new things and always encouraging me to be my best. I love you both so much. <3
> 
> Song title comes from "walk away/promises reprise" from the musical murder ballad.


End file.
